I Need A Life Coach

Seriously.  Or a therapist.  I’m not sure which.  I think the life coach would be most helpful.  Someone part therapist, part drill sergeant.

I am by far the most indecisive person I know.  From relationships to eyeshadow.  Maybe it’s because I’m a Libra.  Although, I’m not quite sure how much stock I put in astrology.  Anyway, the point is that I need someone to tell me what to do.

This is the advice that I would like to have the willpower to heed:

  • Don’t buy things you don’t need.  Even though food is a need, JP Licks and Indian take out are not necessary sustenance.
  • Quit fucking smoking already!  I’m down to 3 a day.  At least one of those, I don’t even want.  It’s just that that’s when I have a cigarette, so I do.
  • GO TO THE GYM!  If you’re not going because you’re tired, then go to bed earlier.  TV is not that important.  Especially when you have a goddamned TIVO.
  • Don’t break down when you’re having a bad day.  It’s unprofessional.  And, quite frankly, it’s too ladylike.  You’re never going to move up if you cry every time something goes wrong.
  • In addition to the above, don’t wear your heart on your sleeve.  I was feeling overwhelmed in a meeting the other day, and my direct supervisor apologized afterward and asked what she could do to better prepare me.  My director had no idea I felt overwhelmed.  That was because my director was sitting next to me and couldn’t see my face.  My supervisor, on the other hand, was across from me.
  • When you make a to do list, give it a reasonable deadline and follow through.
  • Don’t eat dessert for breakfast like you do every day (chocolate croissants are my weakness).
  • Don’t analyze every decision over and over and over.  Find some compromise between your head and heart.