There are 3 coffee shops I can go to on my way in to work: JPLicks, Dunkin Donuts and Green T. JP Licks is about the same price as Dunkin Donuts, with way better coffee, but nothing great to eat. Except ice cream. If you want ice cream for breakfast. They seriously have some really great ice cream! I enjoyed Extreme Chocolate and Cream Stout for my free birthday sundae. Dunkin Donuts has the bacon, egg, and cheese on a croissant AKA the greatest greasy breakfast sandwich known to man. 9 times out of 10, if I have a Dunkin Donuts breakfast sandwich at work, I’m hungover. And everybody knows it. It’s like a beacon that says, “Don’t make me think today.” Green T is way too expensive, but you get what you pay for. I really wanted their dark roast coffee this morning and I didn’t have any yogurts left at work, so I had to buy breakfast somewhere. I was able to forego my usual California on a Bagel (hard boiled egg, cream cheese, bacon, scallions, guacamole…THE BEST [non greasy] breakfast known to man), but I couldn’t decide between the baked goods. Then I said fuck it, I’ll get the french vanilla muffin and the banana bread. Thus, begins my Friday:
Yesterday, Amazon delivered the last piece of my Halloween costume. Thank god for Amazon and choosing a less involved costume this year, because this bitch does not have time to wield a glue gun this year. Halloween is by far my favorite holiday. I use make up and haircuts and hair color to look different every single day, and on Halloween I get to BE someone different. I was thinking this morning about all of my Halloween costumes over the years and wanted to share! At least I can share the ones I’ve worn since the existence of Facebook. Anything before that is like it didn’t happen.
On the subject of Facebook, and before I get to the costume parade, my boss and I were talking the other day about how well (or not) we remember people’s names and faces. I used to be really good with names. I knew everyone in elementary school, middle school, junior high, and beyond. Even when they had no idea who I was (most people were in this category). Ever since Facebook, I no longer remember anybody unless I’m Facebook friends with people. Seriously. There are family members whose names and relations I cannot remember. These aren’t family members who live across the country who I see ever 5 years. These are people I saw every Thanksgiving and Christmas for my entire childhood. And I don’t know their names. So much so that I strategically avoided making introductions at a recent function. Facebook has ruined me!
Tangent over. Onto the costumes! Getting excited for next Friday!!
2005 – Patriots Cheerleader
Yes, that’s a real tattoo. It’s my favorite one even though it looks shitty because it done by a shitty tattoo artist and I pick scabs. I mailed this picture to the team when I wrote them a letter after they lost the superbowl. Yup – I’m a huge dork.
2006 – Twister
This is one of the few times I copped out and bought my whole costume from a store. It was an interactive costume and made for a fun party.
2008 – Sailor
I got props from some girl who was dating an actual sailor because my shirt came from the Army/Navy Store and it was legit. We also met some sparkly bitch who called herself a Glamour Witch. Barf.
2009 – Mary Poppins
One of my best costumes ever! I was also excited because I wasn’t going to freeze in a skimpy costume. Then it turned out to be 70 degrees and I had to take off the hat, scarf and jacket, so I just looked like a school marm or off duty nun or something.
2010 – The Grinch
The second night I wore this I had a fuzzy green scarf, so it looked better. However, the party had black lights. Does anyone know what green facepaint looks like in blacklight? It looks like black facepaint. Face palm. Lesson learned.
2011 – Redfoo from LMFAO
This Halloween was NOT 70 degrees. It was raining and hailing. I was thankful for the one long sleeve and the pants. However, the white part of the pants was see through when wet (tee hehehe <– that’s my 12 year old boy laugh, for when I laugh at things that only 12 year old boys should laugh at).
2012 Robin Sparkles
It’s amazing how many times having t-shirt markers come in handy.
Part of a 2 person costume, the Swamp Donkey. In our fantasy football league, a Swamp Donkey is someone who scores less than 50 points and gets ridiculed. In a bar, a Swamp Donkey is someone who you do not want to wake up to the next morning….and, thus gets ridiculed.
I have all of my past costumes in a bin under my bed. The swamp costume sticks out all the sides and scares the shit out of me every time I’m looking for something under the bed. I don’t know why I save them. I never wear them again. Most of them were just so much effort that I can’t bare to throw them out. Especially the swamp.
As a kid, my mom had her old costumes that I would wear – a homemade cat costume is the one I remember most vividly. I don’t think my progeny will want to be a swamp, so I should just throw this out.