10 1-Sentence Reviews of Crap I’ll Never Buy Again

  1. Maybelline Great Lash and Benefit They’re Real Mascara = Raccoon eyes
  2. Any bra from Victoria Secret (if you’re a AA)
    • At that size they think you need 2+ inches of padding = Madonna cone boobs
  3. OGX Shampoo and Conditioner in Quenched Sea Mineral MoistureOGX Shampoo, Quenched Sea Mineral Moisture- 13 fl oz
    • My favorite brand of shampoo and conditioner, but I couldn’t stand smelling like salt all day.
  4. SwissGear ScanSmart Backpack
    • Felt like a pack animal and TSA still makes you take out the laptop.
  5. Maidenform Satin No Show Petals (AKA pasties)
    • Didn’t work – enough said.  And it was cold at that wedding…
  6. Any sort of cute or matching bathroom trash can a la Allure Home Creations Dinosaur Friends Wastebasket
    • Waste of money for decoration that gets covered by a Market Basket bag
  7. Bacon Air Freshener
    • Self explanatory – why did I buy this in the first place?!
  8. Restaurant.com gift card
    • Too complicated
  9. ASICS Gel Flash
    • Not enough support = tendinitis
  10. Peanut Caramel Cluster Luna Bar – blech!