Bad Food is So Good…and now I feel bad for eating it

Sorry for the sporadic posting lately.  Some days, I just have more time than others.  And I foresee some days in the future with no time.  I’m going to get better about scheduling posts, instead of posting twice in the same day and then none in other days.

RIP

It’s just that once I find something I want to say, I want to say it right away.  And rhyme, apparently. Moving on.

Today is a day of self improvement.  Earlier I waxed poetic about shopping and spending money.  Now I’m on to eating better food.

***Side note: It’s exhausting always trying to improve, isn’t it?  Is it a good thing to always strive for improvement, or totally demoralizing that nothing is ever good enough?  For me it depends on the day.  I don’t think I could ever be complacent, but I need to balance that with celebrating ME.  Just me.  Not my accomplishments or improvements.  Just me, as I am, right now, today.  Well, maybe Sunday, when I already don’t plan on exercising or eating well.  LOL

I got back from Texas on Sunday night and fully intended to start off my new year Monday with exercising and eating right.  I’ve actually been killing it with the exercising bit.

Eating right has its struggles.  I don’t think I’ll ever be a kale, protein powder, chia seed, smoothie, overnight oatmeal type of person.  There’s nothing wrong with being that type of person.  I just think I’d be miserable.

Monday started with a Luna bar for breakfast and ended with frozen veggies and rice and beans for dinner.  Those are pretty damn healthy meals.  Monday also had a fully catered staff retreat at lunch that included a lemon bar, gingerbread cookie, brownie, and a sugar cookie.  Those are just the desserts that I ate.  There were more!

Tuesday followed a similar pattern.  Luna Bar, Quinoa Salad, Salsa Verde Chicken and Rice Burrito, Cashews.  All good.  On target for meeting my calorie goals.  Then I ate a chocolate reindeer in bed (as I proofread this post, this sounded very funny…if you have a gross, dirty, disgusting mind like I do…so I wanted to clarify that it was candy that I got in my Christmas stocking, much like the hollow chocolate bunnies you get at Easter).  Oi vey.

Wednesday didn’t even start off on the right foot.  Dunkin Donuts Bacon, Egg and Cheese Croissant for breakfast.  Was planning on a salad for lunch until my coworkers were walking to Lilly’s Gourmet Pasta…

lillys

 

It’s amazing homemade pasta with amazing sauces.  I got the fusili with a squash and sage sauce and added peas for good measure.  It was expensive AND a lot of calories – DOUBLE NO!  Wednesday was shot.

BUT, last night, I was determined to redeem myself.  So, I stopped at the grocery store, even though I worked until 7pm, and got sweet potatoes, brussel sprouts, and squash and roasted those up with some cumin, salt and pepper, so that TODAY I can finally eat really really healthy.  Especially because I’m eating breakfast, lunch and dinner all at my desk at work.  Fuck long days.  But this does make it better:

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I need to not sabotage myself before I go to bed.  Chocolate reindeer, buttered popcorn, Ghiradelli squares…yum yum and yum.  I can barely help myself.  BUT I can help myself.  When I was at my mom’s house they had these crackers called nut thins (insert adolescent giggling here – thin nuts are weird).  Essentially crackers made of ground almonds or pecans.  You can eat 16 crackers for ~130 calories.  I’m going to try to shift my late night snacking to this somewhat better, but still crunchy and salty and I-can-eat-a-lot-of-them alternative.  That’s step 1.  Step 2 will be foregoing the snacks altogether, but let’s not rush things.

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So Many Shopping Sprees

First it was a bunch of running stuff at TJMaxx, my favorite place for exercise clothing and all things random. Then a raincoat and sweater from Target when I went in for shampoo and conditioner. Then my Sephora haul. Then $130 at Marshall’s last night.

Retail Therapy is definitely a thing, and totally worth doing in small amounts. I also suffer from the opposite phenomenon, Celebration Shopping (sorry I couldn’t come up with a catchier name). Whenever something good happens at work, I finish a class, something good happens to the BF, I lose weight, I see a rainbow, there’s a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, I meet a Leprechaun at the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, … you get the idea … I go shopping to celebrate! Last month I got a promotion, which came with a pretty significant raise. Awesome, time to celebrate! And I can because I deserve it and I have the money to! Woohoo!

Sounds good, right? Well, let’s back it up. The raise is just going through this week, so I’ve been spending money I don’t have, yet. With that raise, I’m (gladly) going to start paying more in rent (we split it loosely as a percentage of income), I have significant student loans going back into repayment shortly (when I say significant, I’m talking a mortgage…for a house in a city…but with no house), and speaking of houses, I’d like one someday, in the city (a nice 2-bedroom condo outside of Boston costs $550,000 to give you an idea). All of these things add up to the fact that I should not be blowing money for every good or bad thing that happens to me, unless I find a way to just live life in the middle, steady, no ups or downs…but that’s not how I roll. So, I’m cutting myself of, now. I think I’ve got it all out of my system. See? Look at all the cool stuff I bought!!

  • My running stuff from pre-Christmas is what started this all off.  The pants are still amazing, except they have a small hole, but that’s what I get for paying $17 for something that people normally spend $50-100 on.  Motion control running shoes are stiff and heavy and suck.  But I’m not injured.
  • SEPHORA!  This came in yesterday.  Reviews to follow.  SO MANY FACE WASHES!  I’ll be using and reviewing one at a time, as I HATE when sample packets get dry and crusty.  This blush is the BEST!
  • I found this raincoat at Target on sale for $25 and for some reason I never find raincoats with hoods (what the fuck people?  obviously I want to cover my head when it’s raining!  why else would I need a raincoat?), so I had to buy it.  Along with this black, very practical cardigan that was on sale for $10 (Target has a million cardigans on sale, not sure if that’s the exact one, but it’s about the same).  I may buy way too many things, but at least I’m a good bargain hunter!
    target
  • Then, last night I went to Marshall’s.  This was mostly an altruistic endeavor.  My little sister just started Track & Field.  I got to go to her pole vaulting competition and she’s super adorable and talented and got her PR of 9 feet while I was there.  She was also very jealous of my cold weather running gear.  They don’t have that in Texas.  It’s very difficult to find inexpensive parkas, ski stuff, running tights, under armor, etc.  We have tons of it here, so I’m shipping her birthday present early.  I ended up spending about $80 on 2 pairs of running tights, 1 long sleeve moisture wicking shirt that was fuzzy on the inside, and 1 performance layer sweatshirt.  I think she’s going to be very excited.  I also found these Cole Haan shoes for myself!!  In the right size no less (reference my last Cole Haan shoe debacle).  They are ridiculously high, but pretty comfortable, considering.  I paid $52 and they’re on Overstock for $119!
    heelsThe end.  No more shopping for me!